Let’s talk about a man I’ll call Delroy James. Mr James was overwhelmed by the financial responsibility he felt towards his family. If paying the mortgage and saving for his daughter’s college education weren’t stressful enough, trying to save for his retirement was pushing him over the edge.
His worry had gotten out of control and he was unable to sleep at night. He also found himself feeling extremely irritable.
It’s probably a safe bet to say that you have heard about saving and investing as a way to get wealth and achieve your goals. And it’s also probably a safe bet to say that you see your pay stub, bank balance or investment portfolio and then sigh or cuss or kiss your teeth.
So bottom line is that we all want more money to achieve our never-ending goals that we believe will make us happy and achieve a particular status in life. And so we think about how to make more or save more money. And we think. And we think….and for many of us, nothing happens.
Oh, we might get the three per cent pay increase from our job or we may be in the batch that hasn’t had an increase in years.
Either way, we are not achieving what we want, and we can’t seem to stop thinking about all that is wrong with our finances. And that is what is wrong with our finances. We are thinking and thinking and over-thinking in the wrong direction.
In the field of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), there is the idea that our conscious mind is sabotaging our success and we are thinking in the wrong way to achieve our goals.
NLP CoachWayne Farrell notes, “We have this wonderful brain and imagination. Then instead of creating the things we want in life, many people worry and get anxiety about all sorts of things. The worrying simply causes you to stress unnecessarily and puts you in a negative space to start with. So why worry?”
Essentially, we are advocating that you stop focusing (worrying) about the financial situation that you don’t want. The effects of worrying about
the outcome that you don’t want manifest in several ways:
* Increased stress and tension in the body
* Health problems
* Extra strain on relationships
* The inability to enjoy the present moment
* Difficulty focusing or getting things done
* Trouble sleeping
* Being short-tempered or easily frustrated
* Feeling helpless
So what can you do about your money concerns?
Essentially, you should develop the habit to forget about them. What? Sounds crazy, you say? Well, the idea is to focus on what you
really want and not on the problems. NLP Coach Wayne Farrell suggests the following:
Think about the problem, and try to think of ways to solve it. Try to break the problem down into its component parts:
.What is the problem?
.What causes it?
.Who is affected?
.What detrimental effects does the problem have?
.What kind of solutions do you need?
.What sort of time, energy, or expense budget do your solutions need to meet?
Try to brainstorm as many possible solutions as you can, even if they’re solutions that seem silly or unworkable. Worry about that part later. For now, just think and let your brain jump to whatever solutions it can come up with.
Write your ideas down, or doodle them on a piece of paper, if you need to — the physical action can help to get your ideas flowing.
After you’ve got a few proposed solutions, go back over them. Some of them you can probably discard off the top. The plausible ones, though, are ones you ought to try.
And as always, you don’t have to go it alone. You can reach out to a trusted friend, a financial advisor or a financial coach for help.
The bottom line is that when you forget about your money problems and focus on finding the path to the financial future that you do want, you can rest easier in your mind.
Dennise Williams, MBA (Banking & Finance) is a journalist, TV producer, certified NLP coach, and has 15 years’ experience in the financial services industry. You can contact her at: firstname.lastname@example.org.