Do you know the old saying “More month than money”? It’s a tough situation to be looking at the calendar when the salary has been spent the first few days after pay day, and you have weeks ahead in the month.
Sigh… just think… not enough money… bills piled high… people you owe. And then you may think that times are hard, the economy is bad, and a good job is hard to find.
Hold on… we have all had these negative thoughts about what we perceive as our situation. And it’s as tough as hell to be financially embarrassed and wanting more out of life and not being in a position to reach out and get what you want with ease.
It’s like everything is working against you. Or is it?
There is a school of thought that says you choose your current situation. And even if you don’t like the experience, deep down, you want to be broke.
Adriana James, Neuro Linguistics Programming (NLP) Coaching Trainer notes, “There is a difference between reality and the beliefs that create it. If you’re broke and your bank account is at zero, to say that you are prosperous is to be either in denial… or in massive denial! You’re broke! That’s the reality of facts! And it is true! What is not obvious is what it was that steered you to be broke. What determined your choices so you arrived at this point?”
James goes on to point out: “These are your beliefs about yourself, money, work, etc., your values, attitudes and many other things that have determined your conscious and unconscious choices that brought you here — broke!”
So bottom line, you thought and acted in ways that deliberately depleted your resources.
So what can you do? Well, you have to go deep within to determine why you made the choices you made. And that can be very hard.
Financial planner Jean Chatzky notes, “Look back on your upbringing, as it can have a profound effect on your financial habits today. It’s not uncommon for these vulnerable feelings to bring about two others — guilt and shame. First, you need to know the difference. Shame is: “I’m not smart enough, and I’m bad with money.” Guilt is: “I don’t know enough about money, and I did something bad with it.” What seems like a small difference is in fact a huge gap, in large part because guilt is much more manageable. “Shame — this idea that there’s something wrong inherently with us, not that we’ve made a bad choice, but that we’re bad — is highly correlated with addiction, depression, violence, aggression, suicide, eating disorders.”
Is it possible that guilt and shame have both left you broke?
Jeffrey Stoffer, US-based financial advisor explains, “In considering your relationship with money, and trying to understand it, remember that our beliefs about money begin to be formed through the eyes of our childhood selves. Until we revisit our stories and the beliefs they’ve created, we will continue to make the same unconscious choices with money that we always have. Writing down some of your stories in as much detail as you can recall is a valuable exercise in discovering your own relationship with money. This insight will help you to make more conscious choices with your money.”
So, although it may hurt, it’s time to revisit the past, clear away the cobwebs and get on the path to the choice of better money decisions.
Dennise Williams, MBA (Banking & Finance) is a Journalist, TV Producer, Certified Practitioner NLP Coach and has 15 years’ experience in the financial services industry. You can see more of her work at www.youtube.com/financiallyfocused or email her at firstname.lastname@example.org